The Not Quite Crunchy Parent: May 2008

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Self

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Quote attributed to Elizabeth Stone...one of my favorites.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Recreating Getting on Your Bike and Being Gone all Day

I was having a conversation the other day with my neighbor where we remembered our childhoods of jumping on our bikes in the morning to the sound of our mothers calling, “be back before dark”. He described his adventures with his friends and I described mine.

Both accounts included spontaneous activities, dreamed up by the clan of children involved each day and often involving the wide variety of materials available in woods, streams and vacant lots. We mourned that we couldn’t provide that same opportunity for our kids as we wandered back and forth along the strip of sidewalk between our houses following our kids as they meandered around our tiny part of neighborhood.

I am, of course not the first to bemoan this lost opportunity. A number of books on the topic including Last Child In the Woods – Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, discuss just this point, far more lyrically than I. Unfortunately there are not a lot of solutions. Those days are gone.

Our conversation though had me thinking beyond just getting kids back into nature. I think I do a reasonably good job there, though too often this means a guided walk through a nature preserve.

I started thinking about the kid clans that directed my daily pursuits in the summer. How, rather than an adult led activity in the woods, we children developed our own games, stories and occupation. Nature supplied the props – we designed how they were used.

Too often I find our children need us to be nearby, to tell them which activities to pursue, to make suggestions. I begin to understand there is something beyond just buying open-ended items with which to play. I understand that there needs to be an end to the scaffolding that I was taught to use to help children play. By that I mean making suggestions as they use materials to “get the engine of imagination going”.

So, I’m going to try to let go of scaffolding…a bit anyway. I’m going to leave kids alone to make their own play.

“Mommy’s busy” may be the words my son needs to hear as he plays with is friends, so they can create their own play.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

They Do What they See- Which Activities Are Best For Kids ?

My friend Best made an interesting comment yesterday. She said her 6-year-old son had decided to make a ladder. So, he went to the garage, selected some pieces of wood, nails and a hammer and…did so.

Her son attends The Marin Waldorf School where they take woodworking class and so is comfortable with tools and such. My 6-year-old son attends a somewhat less crunchy school that emphasizes art and language.

She commented: “My son made a ladder while yours makes up songs in Spanish; they do what they see.”

She went on to lament that neither of us plays a musical instrument (or at least not really) or spend our time painting. Wouldn’t it be nice if they would see their parents busily working creatively instead of pounding away on a computer?

But, where would we find the time? Her insights make me question my choice of hobbies. O.K. sure I’ve added knitting and sewing to my list of hobbies. I play sports with my son and read avidly…so, he certainly sees those things.

But, I yearn to expose him to everything. What if I have a budding Mozart in my home…but will never know it? Maybe he could be a Picasso? Maybe he could be a star baseball player…or tennis player….or even polo player. You have to start young to achieve those things right?

So, in truth the time tested method of exposure to many things is perhaps the way to go...especially those things I to which I wish I had been exposed…piano anyone?

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Couple of Reviews

I have a few reviews up today.

The backyard Safari Netgun can be found here.

Click here for Mia's Reading Adventure Software

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Which Pots and Pans Are Safest – Unearthing My Mother’s Cookware

Sometime in my early twenties I entered what one might laughably call, “my cooking phase”, which in retrospect, was nothing of the sort. Like many young career women, I assumed I would be single for an extended period of time prior to having that big wedding that would result in gifts of household essentials and so set out to acquire the needed accoutrements by raiding my mother’s cabinets.

It turns out I was right…which is neither here nor there but, means that I never ended up pitching many of the pots and pans my mother bequeathed to me. And now I’m glad.

As a ~~paranoid~~ health conscious parent, I tend to evaluate anything that comes into contact with my son’s body. My latest concern is food preparation brought about, in part because of my regrettable tendency to put food in a pan on a hot stove and promptly forget about it.

The last episode required not only an evaluation of cookware but, the need for new. So, I began my research and found this helpful information.

Non-stick pans – Don’t even go there. In 1997, the National Toxicology Program reported that tetrafluoroethylene – a major component in Teflon^® – causes "carcinogenic activity" in rats and mice (nonstick Silverstone and Excalibur coatings are the same resin).

Aluminum – .. .possible association between aluminum and Alzheimer's disease ( though anodized aluminum is apparently safe)

Copper cookware is esteemed for its heat conductivity but should not be used unless it is lined with tin or stainless steel. Copper residues in foods can cause nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Very expensive too as I found out after a trip to my local cookware store.

Anodized aluminum is generally considered safe…manufacturers claim that a final stage in the anodization process seals the aluminum, preventing any leaching into food.

Stainless steel cookware is made from a combination of iron and other metals. The result is a durable product that is safe to use. .. most stainless steel cookware is made with copper or aluminum bottoms. But…this stuff isn’t cheap either!

And then…

Glass, stainless steel, and cast iron are all tried and true for safety. In fact, cast iron can add needed iron to your diet. Enamel-coated cookware is stain and scratch resistant, does not absorb odors, and is safe to use

Wait a minute! Don’t I have some of these?

Sure enough a little digging revealed:

A set of three cast iron skillets

Two big enamel (Corning) pots

Three glass baking pans

Hey Mom! I’m almost set! Do you have any stainless steel small and medium post you’re not using?

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Whole Children Whole Planet Expo

I'm on the way out the door but, I thought I'd post this great event I'll be attending this weekend!

Read more here...I didn't have time to write two posts!

See You there! Hmmm..maybe I should have put this on Twitter!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

That Magic Moment When They Start Reading- Or Waldorf Is Right

As many of you know, I am a big fan of Waldorf education at the preschool level. Whether or not I would be a fan in the grades is a rather moot point since, being “not-quite-crunchy” it wasn’t a good fit for my son and we chose to send him to a …hmmm...”Waldorf-lite” school.

I must say though the Waldorf approach to reading, which, at a base level is similar to that ascribed to by RIE and many developmental experts, seems to be true in my son’s case. I’m talking about the philosophy of teaching reading slower, later and with less stress. My son’s school seems to take this approach.

Though they do start in kindergarten, it is a slow, one letter a week process. Parents are asked only to read to their children weekly and ensure they do a few pages of phonics homework a week. No sight word memorization, no flash cards and NO pushing them to read books at home. It’s OK with his teacher if a child can’t read. It’s Ok with his teacher if they just follow along with the class. It’s all OK.

This made me nervous at first, caught between the Waldorf, “don’t even start teaching them their letters until 1^st grade” and the Well Trained Mind – “start teaching them to read at 4.

I waffle.

But, the slow go method seems to be working. Or, should I say the method that they use and which, in retrospect seems to be what just about everyone, across the spectrum recommends, is…TEACH them HOW to read when they seem ready to learn the alphabet and letter sounds. (For my son that was at 2-years-old. He has known his letters and letter sounds FOR THAT LONG.)

And then. Wait.

And, at some point- “click”. The child just HAS to get that information out of a book and no one is around who can read it and so he or she does. Our magic moment happened this morning on the way to school. He had a huge history encyclopedia in his lap. I was driving. Knowing I who can do most everything, couldn’t read to him while driving he started sounding out words, recognizing sight words and remembering rules.

Wow!

And so now I think I get it. You can start TEACHING reading whenever you want – at 3 or 5 or 7. The child will actually READ when he or she is ready. Since, I’m guessing all of the studies say, on average, children actually start “reading” at around 6 or 7…why bother teaching it prior to that when they could be out chasing butterflies.

Good point.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

How to Pick a Composter – My Adventure with Dirt, Worms and Kitchen Scraps

Though I profess to be green, and an inveterate gardener, it was not until recently (OK, yesterday) that I finally purchased a composter. It’s not that I didn’t WANT to compost, I’ve heard awesome things about the rich deep, healthy soil it produces, the eco friendly, waste recycling benefits and the cost savings resulting from not accidentally dropping a fork into the disposal with the leftover vegetable scraps and breaking it (the disposal not the fork)

It’s just that I couldn’t get my arms around which composter to buy or whether I could handle a compostor or whether we had somewhere to put a compostor or whether we would be moving or…

So, of course, my search for a composter turned into one of those fairly simple purchases, which after a tiny bit of research…. ends up taking a year. You know what I mean.

Lest you think it was just my inability to make a decision that drew out this process so long, I had one constraint. We don’t actually have a yard. We have a green space we share with childless neighbors who normally don’t care what we do with it. But, they may draw the line at installing a composter, so I was looking for a smaller patio unit.

And…since I WAS looking for a unit that would be displayed on my patio and proudly shown to all of my friends…I wanted it to be pretty! (So, shoot me, I have aesthetic needs.) Once I began my search, of course, one of the things I found out is…composters are, as a rule…UG-LY.

Sigh

There are, as I found out, several different types of ugly composters.

1. A drum or tumbler composter. These seem to be the ones most of my crunchy friends have – big. The basic concept is: put your kitchen scraps into the composter; spin it daily; then in a while (weeks? months? years?) you can harvest rich black soil.

How long one has to wait or exactly how much soil one can harvest or…what one does with scraps generated after the compostor is full, I haven’t figured out yet.

2. Worm compostors or vermiculture. This concept really appealed to me. Something about little wormy guys doing the composting seemed cool. I also liked the three tray approach here. Put the scraps and worms in the bottom tray. Keep adding trays of scraps to the top – the worms eat their way up. I wanted to be a “wormhead”!

But, I was the only one in my family who did. Then again, I’m the pet lover in the group.

3. Finally, I stumbled upon a system that, while not beautiful, was small, easy to use and yielded quick results. For me this seemed to be the perfect starter composter - a Bokashi system. This method uses a simple airtight container and what appears to be some sort of fermented material to speed up the process. A benefit to this system, as opposed to some of the others is that you can add meat scraps, as well as vegetables, fruits etc. (apparently meat and diary products create such a smell that they are not recommended for the other types of systems).

So far this has been an interesting experiment. I was able to rather quickly set up the system. The major challenge has been remembering I have it.

Far too often I find myself sticking my hand down the disposal to retrieve scraps absentmindedly dropped in the sink. They’re now too precious to waste!

BTW- I've noticed composters ARE getting a little more stylish. I'm taking a wait and see attitude - I'm sure I'll have even more attractive, yet useful, options in a year or so.

For More Great Works For Me Wednesday Ideas visit Rocks in my Dryer

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Monday, May 12, 2008

What to Do This Summer – Ask Toys R Us

One of the interesting things about buying toys in America and around the world, to some extent, is the closed loop nature of the experience. Twelve to 18 months in advance marketers start digging around in shopping malls, in focus groups and in Hollywood back rooms to figure out what the next big trend is going to be each season.

A few months later, they announce these trends, which are picked up by other marketers through a variety of methods. These then ricochet around the marketing community until all agree and begin madly producing toys to meet the yet unknown needs of tiny consumers. But, don’t worry; massive advertising campaigns will make sure they do.

So, I was pleased to find that Toys R Us has announced what I’ll want to buy for my son this summer. That takes a load off of my mind!

It seems there will be several different trends taking hold. As identified in the Toys R Us Summer Play Trend List

BACKYARD BANDS

With the Jonas Brothers and the Naked Brothers Band exploding on the scene, kids are coming together to mix their musical talents in hopes of becoming the next pop sensation. This summer, from Maine to California, backyards are the new proving grounds for bands.

NATURE FIRST

Many of this summer's must-have toys are aligned with this lifestyle and teach kids about nature and the planet.

GET YOUR MOVE ON

Today, more than ever, children are encouraged to participate in physical activity to help them lead healthier lives, and there is no better time for kids to be active than summer. Although games of it-tag, hide-and-go-seek and hop-scotch are still popular, there are new ways for kids to have a great time while getting their move on.

TECHNO-CATION

Active young minds continually look for easy and fun ways to be quickly "in the know," utilizing a mash-up of technology and education toys that can be taken anywhere this summer.

Along with these descriptions, Toys R US offers a variety of samples of new toys in each category. Some I found interesting, like Crayolas new “earth friendly colors and kid sized gardening accessories. Some I found great for moms busier apparently than I, like the Grow Your Own Tomato Plant all-in-one pack from Buzzy – I’ll probably just go buy some seeds and use an egg carton but, I DO like that this type of toy is offered. Some made me cringe – LeapFrog electronic books that “read” to preschoolers.

While Nature First and Get your Move On seem like trends that well….happen every summer, I’m intrigued by the Backyard Band trend – I’ve always loved having the kids select instruments and march around the neighborhood.

And, as I’m researching ways to keep my son up to speed over the summer, the idea behind the Techno-cation idea, educational activities that can be taken anywhere, strikes me as a good idea, as I look forward to spending the summer in the car traveling from activity to activity.

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Safety in Numbers – Which Types of Plastics To Avoid

I’m not sure why I didn’t see this before. Figuring out all of the numbers stamped into the bottom of plastic bottles and packages rattles my brain and turns into one of those “whose on first?” type of discussions when my friends and I get together and watch our kids ~~fight~~ play.

It turns out that really, there are just 3 numbers to remember:

763

Just like remembering a phone number…right? It turns out that this is the area code for Minneapolis, which if you live in Minnesota may make it easier to remember. Otherwise it's just one of those oddball bits of information to store somewhere in the "misc." file in your brain.

Anyway...back to scary plastics.

The Daily Green fortunately, has a nice description of which PVC plastics to avoid and why:

Number 7 Plastics
Miscellaneous
Found in: Baby bottles, three- and five-gallon water bottles, certain food containers

A wide range of plastic resins that don't fit into the other six categories are lumped into number 7. Some are quite safe, but the ones to worry about are the hard polycarbonate varieties, as found in various drinking containers (like Nalgene bottles) and rigid plastic baby bottles.

Why? Studies have shown polycarbonate can leach bisphenol A, a potential hormone disruptor, into liquids. According to Trasande, no level of bisphenol A exposure is known to be truly safe, and in August a government panel expressed 'some concern' that the ingredient causes neural and behavioral problems in children.

Number 6 Plastics
PS (polystyrene)
Found in: Disposable plates and cups, meat trays, egg cartons, carry-out containers

Number 6 plastics (polystyrene) are made into soft Styrofoam-style cups as well as rigid foams and hard plastic products, so remember to look for those little numbers in the arrows (don't feel bad if you need a magnifying glass). Avoid using them as much as possible.

Why? Number 6 plastics can release potentially toxic breakdown products (including styrene). Get this: particularly when heated! That insulated coffee cup -- the one that 'knows' when to keep your drink warm -- doesn't seem so smart anymore does it?

Number 3 Plastics

V (Vinyl) or PVC
Found in: Cooking oil bottles, clear food packaging

Why? Number 3 plastics may release toxic breakdown products (including pthalates) into food and drinks.

The risk is highest when containers start wearing out, are put through the dishwasher or when they are heated (including microwaved). PVC manufacturing can release highly toxic dioxins into the environment, and the materials can off-gas toxic plasticizers into your home.

Thanks Guys!

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Bike Decisions- Lamenting The Loss of Magic Moments

As a child I had two bikes. O.K. I maybe had three bikes, if you count the tricycle, by the time I turned 18.

I was given my first two-wheeler, for my birthday when I was six. My second…a larger 24”, (I’ve no idea why I remember the size.) I was given when I was perhaps 9 or 10. And that was it until college when I bought my own, which was subsequently stolen when I, rather stupidly left it chained overnight in the bike rack at my inner city university... what was I thinking?

The one with which I replaced the stolen bike was my last. A few years later I discovered rollerblading and I’ve felt little need to buy another bike. Actually I haven’t found a reason to buy another pair of roller blades either come to think of it. I’m only on my second pair in 20 years.

In contrast, my child, at 6, has had:

2 ride on toys

1 tricycle

2 bikes

1 scooter

1 pair of roller blades

And, based on the various riding apparatus I see in other people’s homes, he is perhaps under privileged. No, we didn’t get him a Big Wheel, or a $250.00 motorized vehicle or those new bikes without pedals that are all the rage. He still has his 3-wheel scooter and he only ever had one tricycle. But, his list is still longer than mine at that age…way longer.

In today’s world we parents of course, have been suckered into purchasing a lot more stuff. Ride on toys in infinite variety assail us at Toys R Us. Electric vehicles have become a must have for the suburban set. Rollerblades, scooters, skateboards and the accompanying equipment are made in ever smaller sizes.

It’s a bit sad. Those itty bitty two wheelers consign that magic “first bike” moment to the netherworld of a three-year-olds memory – not likely to be remembered much longer. Too bad because that was a moment that those of us born in an earlier age savor.

Now, as my son rides on his new “big boy” bike, it’s just another vehicle. He’s had a bike to call his own for years now. This is just the new one to be replaced by the next “new one” and then the next.

It’s just tougher to make “magic moments” these days.

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Wondering about Waldorf

I spent last Sunday at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books which I have wanted to attend …oh, since I moved to LA almost 20 years ago. Unused to the traffic and logistics and the crowds required to do just about anything in this town I’d demurred until last weekend. Though, I’ve often expressed regret.

Demurring wasn’t an option when my friend Crystal ~~roped me into~~ asked me to help her at her Barefoot Books stand. Though I didn’t get to see much of the festival due to an injury that kept me in the booth, often with my foot propped up, I did get to talk to a lot of people…mostly moms, often of very young children.

Barefoot Books tend to attract parents interested in well…what everyone else is not interested in. One woman asked me if a certain book was popular. Misunderstanding her question, I said, “Yes, that one is one of our best sellers.”

“No”, she said. “I mean, Can you buy it at Barnes and Noble?”

My kind of gal and no, you can’t. This, in her mind (and mine) is a good thing. I think she was looking for something unique. I’m almost always looking for something that’s not overly commercial, nurturing, educational and well written.

This type of book attracts a class of moms who are, not surprisingly, often also interested in Waldorf Education. One mom of an infant announced that she was a “crunchy mom” and was considering a Waldorf preschool. To which I happily replied that we had attended one for two years.

I also shared that we had decided not to pursue Waldorf education because I felt we were “not crunchy enough”

“Oh, I’m REALLY crunchy” she replied blithely.

Well… we watch videos on occasion I told her and watched the look of astonishment cross her face. My crunchy mom, it turned out is a big fan of baby videos.

Hmmm. This encounter and a post over at Anthromama got me thinking about the perception of Waldorf education. Populated by organic food eating, holistic and attachment parenting Moms…Waldorf doesn’t really espouse any of these things. In fact, some of the main tenets of Waldorf schooling are positively anathema to the principles of attachment parenting.

Waldorf education started by and now based on the writings of Rudolph Steiner has morphed from a style of education to a bastion of crunchydom. And…is, perhaps on its way back.

More and more parents are adopting what was once considered a an alternative lifestyle.

Eating organic

Limiting or eliminating media until middle school or beyond

Following Holistic medicine in whole or in part

Going Green

Practicing attachment parenting

Unschooling or homeschooling

The list perhaps goes on. What’s striking is that all of these things don’t necessarily go together. Adopting one or two of these lifestyles doesn’t’ mean that you adopt them all. And so, we parents looking for the perfect school for our children, come to the crushing realization, say around kindergarten age, that…it’s not out there.

Sigh. There is not school where our kids will be with other children of other parents, “just like us”. We’ll have to fight the commercial monster, or put up with unhealthy eating habits or cringe at different discipline styles in most schools. Or, we’ll be on the other end and find ourselves defending our TV watching or attachment parenting lifestyle.

This is perhaps just the way the worl